Day12: Sometimes the Shit's Just Not Happening

Today's truth is that sometimes, no matter how ambitious I just cannot complete a task once started. I have begun and stopped three different blogs for today and still none seem to fit the bill. I am exhausted from barely sleeping the last couple of days and at this point am almost willing to just say the hell with my commitment to myself in writing this thing. I thought that until I realized that my acceptance in letting it go is one of the reasons I started it in the first place. If I cannot even be honest with myself, how am I going to be real with anyone else. So today, a compromise: I admit to my failings in coming through with an original blog for today, but still post something real. Below is a memo I wrote and posted at an old job after the corporate refrigerator raider ate my sandwich one afternoon. It's a little bit of me and a nod to the fact that while I may not always come through when I should, I'm still willing to try to find a solution. So on that note, please enjoy the below and remember not to eat someone else's food from the work fridge lest you be called out by a Senior Editorial Assistant with too much time on her hands.

To the Person who Ate My Sandwich

I appreciate that you must have been very, very hungry last Friday at lunch. Perhaps your own lunch just wasn’t enough. Maybe you were short of cash, and couldn’t afford the salty Watermark Café prices. Believe me, I do sympathize with your plight. Many a day have I been hungry, but unwilling to sell a kidney to afford a sandwich at the Watermark.

Still, I can’t help but feeling that it was a violation when you took my half sandwich leftover from lunch at La Isla on Washington Street and ate it yourself. A cup of yogurt or soda, I can understand. Perhaps you eat the same type of yogurt and simply lost track of when, or if, you already ate yours. A half sandwich wrapped up for someone else and left only a few hours overnight Thursday in the community fridge, however, is a little harder to understand.

In the future, perhaps you can simply come by my cubicle and steal the food directly out of my hand. That way, there will be no dirty little secrets between us. You see, you and I are the same. I like my sandwich and you like my sandwich. There is no reason we cannot be up front about this. In fact we should be friends. Perhaps I can start bringing two lunches to work so that you will also have my food for lunch.

Another thing, sealed food is okay to eat health-wise. It’s still inappropriate to pillage the community fridge for other people’s snacks, but at least it’s sealed. It’s wrong, but not gross. A half sandwich however is trickier. Perhaps I like to lick the perimeter of my sandwiches before I eat them. Maybe I inadvertently sneezed on my sandwich while I was eating the other half. Possibly even, I dropped that delicious half sandwich on the floor and picked it back up. These are all fairly disgusting possibilities, but again, it was MY half sandwich so it was my choice to do with it want I wanted.

I hope you enjoyed my half sandwich and to prove there are no hard feelings, I have a half eaten granola bar in my trash if you’d like to come dig it out and eat it. I’ll even hold the trash can steady while you rummage through.

Thanks again for sharing my lunch. It was real special.