Day 154: Thanks for Appreciating an Acquired Taste

Sometimes we search and search for what we need and just when we’re about to give up, turning away empty handed, we find it in the unsought corner. Today I learned an important lesson from a friend and it is a friend I didn’t even really know I had. Friendship is formed and found in the unselfish acts, a kindness done simply because someone needs us. Yet why is it we so often define for ourselves what we need and where to find it without ever really considering if it’s true? Expecting one outcome does not guarantee its arrival. We do this all the time, we fall in love with someone and despite no encouragement from him or her we convince ourselves they are who we need. We are willing to forgive all sorts of things, or even to believe things, based not on truth, but on what we want to see and to believe. What I am learning, however, is to stop trying to find what may not be there and instead, to recognize what is.

Life is not lived as a solo activity. We need people and we are responsible to and for other people. Sometimes though, we get so fixated on certain relationships that we miss the truth and supplant it with one of our own. People can’t be who we want them to be and we focus so minutely on trying to make something work – the clichéd square peg in the round hole – we miss out on what we already have. This too, I believe is a formula used commonly in the romantic comedy genre, but cliché or not, it is still true. When you realize you have been beating yourself up for disappointing all the wrong people make sure to also notice all the others who cherish you and support you just for being flawed person you are.

We define ourselves through our flaws as much as our wonderful and easy to love characteristics, but more than that, our true friends are defined by how they react to the discovery of those flaws. It’s easy to love perfect and happy, that’s why everyone loves babies, they have yet to develop annoying character traits. When was the last time you heard someone call a toddler an asshole? Well, there’s a reason for that, toddlers and babies have yet to learn to offend people or to have strong opinions outside of liking pears and hating peas. It’s easy to like what doesn’t offend, I mean come on, everyone hates peas. Some people are more like Brussels sprouts, they are an acquired taste, but for those smart few who take the time to appreciate them something wonderful is waiting to be discovered. Thank you, unexpected friend, for taking the time to care about Brussels sprouts.