Day 336: Sensitive, Pony-tailed Men Please Report to the 1990's

In talking with an old friend tonight the topic turned to the topic of overly sensitive men. Do you remember the 90’s? The movie Singles stands out in my head because of the scene where Campbell Scott’s character talks about the sensitive pony-tailed guys. Well, that’s the problem with the 90’s and what happened to our men. We bitched about men being too insensitive and women doing all the housework and childrearing. All we wanted was a bridge to a more understanding place and the next thing we know we’ve got poetry and man tears. What the hell was up with that?

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a guy who can open up from time to time and tell me what he’s feeling. I don’t want some backwater guy who thinks men chop wood and drink and women stay in the home and watch “Army Wives.” What I do want, is a little balance and that shouldn’t be too much to ask for. I am okay with a guy crying over something substantial like serious relationship problems, loss of a loved one, running out of beer . . . you get the picture. What I am not cool with is a dude who cries over random everyday stuff or who gets his feelings hurt easily.

My friend is not one of those men, but I joked with him about it. He’s artsy and sensitive to a certain extent and he used to have a ponytail in the 90’s. So what happened to our men? Are they such simple creatures that for the most part they can only be one way or another? Women are made up of many shades of gray, but guys are so black or white. They are either completely macho or they are total pussies. Sorry for the word choice, but it really does fit the best.

So where are we today? Do we still have the sensitive 90’s ponytail guys or did they mellow out? For a while I thought we’d progressed beyond the extremes and had sort of settled in a more balanced male persona, and then came the emo movement. Really? Emo? Guys with more make-up than a fourteen-year-old with her first make-up kit? Hair harkening back to the days of the Beatles and (shudder) Justin Freakin’ Bieber?!? I don’t want you to be Chris Brown, but can you at least be men?

I fell for the husband because he’s a pretty balanced guy. Definitely manly; brilliant, and still sensitive enough to pick up on the subtleties of life and relationships too. He’s a keeper, my friend is also a keeper, but the minute either one of them starts spouting poetry, I’m out. Maybe I just expect too much and maybe I am more traditional than I realized, I’m not sure. All I know is that I don’t want your hair or bangs longer than mine, you should not take longer to get ready than me, poetry is for poets or young girls and crying is just not cool. Man up, because it’s hard damn work being a woman and we need someone who can carry their share of life’s burdens, not have their hands full of Kleenex.