Why do some people move so very fast and others prefer the interminable pace of a glacier? I do everything fast. I’ve always driven fast and have the traffic violation record to prove it. Sammy Hagar’s hit was practically my mantra before moving somewhere that a car wasn’t necessary. It’s not just my driving, however. I talk fast, walk fast and react fast. I’m quick to anger and a speedy, lightweight drunk. It honestly flabbergasts me when I’m walking behind someone who seems to have absolutely no schedule or future plan at all and I would rather detour from my route and drive a mile out of my way than to stop at a light or stay behind a slow moving driver. So why do some of us appear to have no place to go, nothing to do and no foreseeable schedule while the rest of us feel it is very, very important to get to, say or do things as quickly as possible?
It’s not as if my life is so meaningful. I’m not driving fast because I’m in labor or a volunteer firefighter being called to a big run. I certainly am not walking faster than you because there is something fantastic waiting for me. I just move fast because I want to get to where I am going. There is no real reason for it, but I also do not see the point in lolling about as if time has stopped progressing forward. Although I will say that every time I get stuck behind one of you pokey people it most certainly does feel like time is at a standstill. I am a big believer in moving your ass. Clearly, if you’re in the car or on the pavement you have a destination in mind so why not get there?
Stop moseying about and do not even think to slow down causing traffic to back up while you read every sign and house number because you’re not sure where you're going. I’ll tell you where you are, you're in my damn lane going 15 mph and about to get my front bumper up your tailpipe! This isn’t something I started doing on purpose, I just don’t like to saunter. This was exacerbated after seven years of living in an urban environment. We move quickly there and we are conscious of the physical space we take up on the sidewalk. If you want to see my extremely easy-going husband lose his mind, then walk four across on a busy NYC sidewalk. If you want to see me lose my mind, stand on the left side of the escalator or airport moving walkway. The right side is for lazy, stand here all day types, the left side is for those of us trying to get to the finish.
In addition, I also talk quite rapidly and tend to react according to instinct rather than carefully thinking a situation through. I can tell you after careful consideration of about 3.2 seconds that moving fast may not actually generate any positive results. Driving fast gets me speeding tickets and has caused a couple of notable road rage incidents. Talking fast confuses people. Thinking or reacting fast usually gets me into trouble. Walking fast is really the only fast moving action that has spawned any real benefits. Moving faster burns more calories and has kept me thinner than those people I'm constantly navigating around. It always seems to be that the people I’m trying to get past on the sidewalk are hauling around ginormous assets. Then again, I do recall that I once screamed “move your fat ass” at a rather skeletal-like model in mid-town during lunch hour. So maybe I’m making that benefit up, I don’t know, I didn’t really think about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment