You ever read a story or hear a tale about some horrific accident or missing person and your first thought isn’t “oh that’s awful,” but instead some judgment about the victim? Well I think that way all the time and I’m fairly aware it makes me a bad person. It also makes me a rational thinker and someone who stops to ask why and consider circumstances rather than simply shake my head. Let’s be honest, half the bad shit that happens to people happens because they’re stupid or they were doing something they shouldn’t have been.
Do I think it’s awful when a car full of teenagers is killed in a traffic accident caused by their underage drinking and reckless driving? Absolutely I do. We’ve all been careless teenagers who survived things we’d never try as adults, but it doesn’t mean I do not recognize that a car full of drunken, rowdy 17 year-olds in a brand new fast car Daddy bought isn’t just asking for trouble. Or what about that English couple on vacation who left their sleeping toddler alone in their hotel room while they were drinking and playing cards with friends? The child was abducted and they caught a lot of flack for leaving their child unattended. I thought that was pretty stupid too, but I do acknowledge that it is something I might do, then again, I’m not a parent.
It’s not just that I judge the victims. Today a friend posted a local story about a woman who has not been seen or heard from since yesterday afternoon. My very first thought was that it had been less than 20 hours since she was last seen and already it was in the paper. Is that because she is a young, attractive blond woman? She’s not even considered legally missing yet and already she’s making the news, despite there not being a shred of evidence suggesting foul play. Does no one else think like this? Are you all just a bunch of head shakers? I still feel sorry for people, but I see beyond the tragedy and ask what I feel are relevant questions. Natalee Hollaway is thought to be the murder victim of three guys she drunkenly left a bar with while on Spring Break in a foreign country. Her death is horrible and the grief of her family must be unbearable, but the girl left a bar with three strange men! She certainly did not deserve to have anything bad happen to her, but can we at least agree that leaving anywhere with three strange men isn’t a good idea? How sheltered or wild was this girl that it seemed perfectly okay to her to be in that situation? I’m more upset at the apparent lack of preparation for the scary world this girl’s parents supplied her with. Hello? Calling all street smarts!
Before you judge me for my judgments I have to make clear that I am not blaming the victims or saying they deserved it. As an outsider I am simply pointing out some rational arguments that we all sweep under the rug because we don’t want to be that horrible person who points them out. I admit I am not the most positive, sunny disposition girl in the world, but I don’t think simply acknowledging some glaring errors in the judgment/logic/actions/etc., of a particular situation makes me any more evil than those of you who surely recognize the elephant in the room, but don’t point it out. What can I say, I see the whole picture, not just thumbnail.
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