Happy 2010. That sounds weird. Even after I said “Happy New Year” kissed the husband, clinked glasses, sipped champagne and traded resolutions it didn’t really hit me. 2010 feels like it should be fairly momentous. I think this is partly because now we will say twenty ten instead of two thousand nine, etc. There is something so futuristic about the “twenty __” years that makes it feel different somehow. I realize that in reality only an hour has passed and yet it feels different. Or maybe the difference is that it feels like it should be different and yet it is the same.
I am still hungover while I am in the process of drinking, I still look the same, my car does not fly (as far as I know), no one is any more enlightened than they were 90 minutes ago and life as I know it is still pretty average with periods of crazy. We put so much emphasis on a new year: This is the year I’ll quit smoking, get in shape, stop drinking (idiots), get a better job, be nice to children . . . whatever your personal deal. Why do we wait for the new year or even the new week to begin? Why do we not just simply start living the best life we can immediately? I think it is our need for comfort.
We need to gear up for certain things before diving right into them. We tell ourselves we need this or that, but really what we want is stability. So your girlfriend turned out to be a douche and dumped you. Take a week and feel like shit, and then get over it. There’s no way you didn’t know she had that douche tendency, so buck up and accept the fact that you got caught up in the web of pain and indecision. Bad things happen and we move on. It is up to us when and how we wallow. It can consume you, but it’s not worth it. I have wallowed in self-pity, grief, heartbreak, betrayal, disappointment, and loss. It doesn’t really matter what your emotion or motivation might be, the bottom line is that you’re going to feel like crap until you snap the hell out of it.
My year has sucked. The husband was in a war zone and constantly at risk, I was in a new town trying to find work and friends, some family members had a rough time and a good friend and I parted ways. It has not been my favorite year, but it was a learning experience and I hope that this year I might finally put into practice what I’ve been preaching all these years and stop living a life that is not productive.
If someone in your life is hurtful dump them, if your job is a dead end change it, if you hate where you live move and if you are no longer growing as a person enlighten yourself. No one owes us happiness or success. Maybe you didn’t grow up in an affluent family or with career connections, it doesn’t matter. Your life is your responsibility and your choices are yours alone. No one else is responsible for your faulty decision-making so suck it up and do better. It’s twenty ten after all, it’s about time we get our shit together.
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