Day 230: Come Here/Go Away: When Loved Ones are in Your Face

I have often questioned if there is such a thing as too much togetherness. In recent years this has been a very personal question for me as I went from total immersion in a relationship (10 months in Leavenworth, KS no job, no friends and 20 of every 24 hours side by side) to a year of complete separation (the husband’s Army deployment to Iraq). Recently, the worry has been if we could revive our happy marriage once reunited and then how to survive another separation living apart during the week and together on the weekends. Ours is a complicated living arrangement and it seems I’m constantly missing/sick of him depending on the year. We’ve settled a bit into the new routine and I believe I know the answer to my initial question. Yes, too much togetherness is possible and it happens at day three.

This past week was our first under the new, two households arrangement. Jeff left Monday morning at 5am and while it was lovely to have my personal space again, I missed him during the week. He turned up again Thursday evening and we enjoyed a really great weekend together. Sometime around hour 68 we got on one another’s nerves. The fierce sarcastic talent we each possess in spades volleyed between us for about an hour. 24/7 togetherness, be it with family, partners, or friends, does get to be too much. Personally, I think it’s pretty impressive that we lasted three days.

People aren’t made to spend hour upon hour upon hour . . . you get the idea, together. We all need our space and if someone is in your face too much it’s bound to cause a little strife.

What’s important, is to remember that when your loved one is in your face for 68 hours straight and you feel the need to suddenly call them out in a public place, like oh let’s say the grocery, you do so with love. And if that’s not possible, lovingly apologize right away. Then again, if you’re still too annoyed to apologize immediately and need an hour to just be bitchy, let yourself have it, then take a deep breath and sincerely apologize in as loving a way possible when you are able. It also helps to remember that said “in your face” loved one will once again be retreating for another work week absence. Turns out that the foreknowledge that I will soon be missing him does make me appreciate him more when he’s here. In other words, absence does make the heart grow fonder. I miss you already honey, but seriously, get out of my face already. Kisses.