Do we have an obligation to make our friends more comfortable with who we are or how we live our life? We all have people in our lives who love and accept us however we are, be it when we’re at our best or even when we’re at our worst. Family, spouses or close friends can be that safe haven. These are the people with whom interactions are effortless, but what of those people we care about yet feel uncomfortable being ourselves around?
I am lucky to have a husband who loves me despite all my craziness, insecurities, and moodiness. He loves my body even when I’m out of shape and he never criticizes me for the way I wear my hair, my makeup or my cleavage. If you’ve read my past blogs you know I’ve got girls that I’m not afraid to show off. In the past I had a friend who was very critical anytime I wore a top she felt exposed too much. I’m not saying I wear turtlenecks every day, but when you’ve got D’s they show up even in a modestly cut top. The same goes for my personality. I know I speak my mind, sometimes too much, and that not everyone wants to get involved in conversations about serious topics. I like opinionated people and I’m not shy about sharing mine.
These are topics that are not new to my blog, but I am trying to grow as a person and part of that journey is realizing what is worth sacrificing and on what I should hold tough. I’ve spent so much of my life rebelling against what other people want from me, but now that I’m mellowing a bit, I realize that sometimes it’s easier to just let it be and to not fight so hard. Out of respect for certain people, I am willing to tailor my behavior or conversation to get along. I want to be liked, just because I’m expressive and don’t take shit doesn’t mean I don’t care if people hate me. What I’m questioning is if I’m worried about being respectful, where is the respect on the other side? It’s not okay to make others feel like they are less than, just because your tastes are different.
High school was a long time ago and as an adult I might judge you or dislike you, but I can guarantee it’s going to be based on personality or ethical behavior. I will not judge you because your shirt is low cut or you’re a Republican or religious or a Mom. As adults we should not have to worry about the superficial getting in the way of our meaningful relationships. I’m aware of my flaws and big personality and my sometimes giant jugs. I’m a lot of Ame, I get it, but at heart I try to be a good person and if you can’t see past the boobs in your face or the liberal rhetoric or fondness for heated issue-based discussions then you’re missing the good stuff. It’s there in all of us, sometimes you just need to dig a little deeper and be respectful enough to allow people to be themselves. I don’t expect anyone in my life to think like me or share my beliefs, just be willing to understand that we might be different. Then again, sometimes you just need to tell me to shut up and have a drink.
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