Day 249: Living the Good LIfe Isn't the Same for All of Us

I don’t feel nearly 40. I don’t even feel 30 really. I’m not good at sending cards and gifts to people when they have babies, birthdays or weddings. I don’t like to clean my house. I don’t feel like almost 40 is supposed to feel—or what I perceive almost 40 to supposed to feel like. At 37, I still live pretty much the same way I did 10 years ago and I don’t mind that. I feel young, I don’t look too bad and the husband and I have a pretty fun life. Not feeling my age does not present a problem for me, except when it comes to the expectations of others.

Mom was the one who sent the gifts and cards and kept track of what was happening with everyone. Together, Jeff and I manage to remember everyone’s birthday usually within the correct month. We move so much and live in a perpetual state of half unpacked that there just doesn’t seem to be a lot of permanence. We take long weekends whenever we can, travel as much and far as we can afford and don’t really feel the need to put down roots. To us our life is fitting and although a bit chaotic, it works. To others we likely look forgetful, selfish and unconcerned. All true except for the last. We do care and we do want to be the kind of couple that remembers to send you a wedding gift or a happy baby whatever, the intentions are there, just not the follow through.

We may not be the kind of adults we expected to be, but we’re doing our best to enjoy life and to not piss too many people in the process. The problem, is that most people live their lives the same way. Grow up, go to college, pursue a career, get married, buy a house, have kids, make friends with other married homeowners with kids, etc. We can accept them and their lifestyle despite how foreign it is to us, but we don’t always get the same courtesy in return. I don’t want your life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like and respect you. We joke a lot, but the truth is, we want everyone to live exactly the way they want without peer pressure, guilt, or unnecessary sacrifice. That is how we live and it sucks that sometimes that means we can’t live up to your expectations, because we’d really like to, we’re just busy planning our next vacation and watching the game.