Day 197: Sometimes Words Can be too Comforting

For anyone that knows me, this revelation will not come as a surprise, but I like to stir things up. It’s not that I court controversy necessarily, I just really appreciate good discussion. After all these years you’d think I would be accustomed to run-ins with people who are, well let’s just say less appreciative of my fondness for debate. Sadly, I still find myself a little hurt when the name calling starts and I realize the “argumentative,” “contrarian” and “rebellious” person everyone is calling out, is me. I’m not getting into my love of discourse and controversy again, I think I’ve written about that in the past, what I’m more interested in now, is why we are all so threatened by differing opinions and cling to the comfort of like-mindedness.

It is no surprise that people want to feel a part of something bigger than themselves. None of us want to be alone in the world and it is always difficult to be that lone voice rallying against the majority. Even so, why are we almost fearful to strike out and speak the unpopular thought? Liberals cling to reassurances that their calls for change are just, and conservatives hang on Coulter’s every word, even when that word doesn’t make sense. Christians never let anyone forget for a second that they are, in fact Christian, and the religious directive of bearing witness means that they don’t just talk about their beliefs, they want to recruit you into the fold.

We take such comfort in being a part of a group that I think sometimes our individual voices get shut out. I will still embrace you if your message is different, just as I will still let you talk if your message is the same. The important thing to remember is that it is only through sharing our opinions that we are able to establish meaningful discussions. A debate need not be contentious, it just needs free expression of thoughts without judgment or anger.

Unfortunately, the topics that are the most interesting to discuss are the ones that have the greatest chance of pissing people off. Religion, abortion, politics, legalizing marijuana, obesity, immigration, war, monogamy . . . these topics are ripe for the kind of varied and opinionated conversations that make a debate fun. They are also exactly the topics that get people the most angry. If you don’t want to talk about it just move on, but don’t take it out on me because you don’t like my opinion and refuse to entertain healthy debates. A little less comfort in most of our lives would not actually hurt, maybe we’d all get up off our butts and try a little harder to make the world a better place if our lives weren’t so cushy and reassuring. Keep surrounding yourself only with people who think just like you and yes, you may feel happy and secure, but you will also be missing out on part of life’s greatness – the differences!