Please stop making sex tapes if you are a celebrity or politician. This goes double for anyone that is married, using drugs, secretly gay, or having group sex on camera. Of course, no celebrities or politicians read my blog, so this isn’t going to reach those truly in need of my intervention, but it will allow me to vent. We all have sex, or at least have had sex, if you’re an adult. Chances are, you’re not really that great at it and you almost certainly don’t look anything like people we’d actually be interested in watching have sex. What I’m saying is that most people, even famous types are pretty normal looking and aren’t sexual rock stars. The only thing I can think of worse than knowing Monica Lewinsky kept the semen stained blue dress is the idea of an actual sex tape documenting it (shudder).
I cannot imagine why people who have everything to lose or are famous enough that people would pay money to view a homemade sex tape, would actually make one. For one thing, film stars are constantly ON FILM to begin with, so do you really need the extra footage of the . . . well, nuts and bolts, of the acts? They’re never going to look nearly as hot as they do on a film set with makeup people, lighting experts and multiple camera angles. Just enjoy all your paid for film roles and keep the bedroom antics to yourself. The other issue is that most people just aren’t that great at sex. Sure, everyone has those nights when things just work, but that is not the norm. So chances are, your fifteen minutes of fame are best left to the actual non-sex tape variety.
Another thing to consider is that so many sex tapes are not simply a couple’s fun romp, but the documentation of an affair, or taboo/illegal act. Threesomes or drug use, not good things to put on tape because when it comes out – and it will, that Enquirer paycheck is too much for even your Saturday night delight to resist – you are not just facing embarrassment over your poor performance. In the closet types have NO business filming their secret trysts. I’m not judging you for being in the closet, that’s your business, but if you’re filming your secret gay tryst it’s going to come out and your life is going to be shattered. Screw who you want, man, woman, or both, I don’t care, but don’t film it if it’s a secret lifestyle.
I wonder how many normal people have sex tapes. The husband has suggested it to me (sorry honey!), but I’ve seen my ass and I don’t need that disaster on film. Maybe most of you do tape yourselves, I’m not entirely against it, but the minute I become famous or get elected to office or run for President while I’m married and not-so-secretly having a love child with my mistress while my spouse is battling cancer I’m thinking the sex tapes should be destroyed or stop being made. Then again, I’m apparently smarter than people that run for office (which is sad). I wonder if I could actually get anyone to buy a sex tape if I made one? Probably not, which is a shame, because the husband and I are like the dynamic duo – only we don’t fight crime and neither of us is as feminine as Robin.
No comments:
Post a Comment