Day 175: Playing Doctor

I love going to the doctor. Being a bit of a hypochondriac, I am always certain that I have some horrible disease. In the past, I have convinced myself that I had dysentery, a brain tumor, lupus, and a handful of other equally colorful conditions. The problem I face is that we moved three times in 16 months so I was unable to retain a doctor. Frankly, the military insurance is a huge pain in the ass. It’s great if you live on base, but outside the base very few physicians take Tricare so I’ve taken matters into my own hands and now I practice a type of alternate medicine.

It is not what you think. I’m not talking about some new-agey holistic practice, no instead I self diagnose then order drugs without a prescription from China. The husband is concerned with my refusal to go to a real doctor and self-medicate, but I assured him it’s perfectly safe. After all, the drug I am currently taking is made by Merck and closely resembles the pill description I found online of what it should look like. The actual dosage is a bit more tricky, so I picked one that is somewhere in the middle – not the strongest, but not a child dose either. It’s not that I prefer to do it this way, but I feel like I know my body pretty well and between the insurance issues, lack of regular physician and the difficulty I’ve had actually getting the medication I think I need it’s just easier this way.

I’m not a big fan of pills, but about 15 years ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and put on medication that I was expected to be on for the rest of my life. The difficulties started when I had to get blood tests every two months to ascertain if my thyroid was leveling out. I did not have insurance then and after about six months could no longer afford treatment. Over the years I have gone to several doctors for my thyroid and all them have told me it’s low, but they didn’t feel medication was necessary at this time. Well, screw that. I have every single symptom on hypothyroidism and while most are merely annoying, one or two are very uncomfortable, so I finally took matters into my own hands and now I’m treating myself.

It’s been a couple of weeks and it will likely be another two or three until I start to see a difference, but I am hopeful. It’s not the most prudent method of medical treatment, but without a regular doctor, no one is listening to what I’m telling them I know I need, so I went rogue. Lately, I’ve had this hacking cough for several weeks. Jeff really wants me to see a doctor, but I’m pretty sure it’s black lung, so I just need to research the treatment and get in touch with my favorite Chinese dealer.