Ever meet one of those people who say things that on the surface sound like compliments, but carry with them an undercurrent of something insulting? You can’t put your finger on it, and no one else really catches it, because they aren’t coming straight out and calling you names, but even so it just feels insulting? Well, I know a girl like that. She is strange in a way I can’t quite articulate. She looks at you a little too closely and a little too critically. And no matter what she says, it always comes out as a judgment. There is nothing overtly wrong or insulting about this girl, but when I see her, I kinda want to punch her in the mouth nonetheless.
The first time I met her she sat down at a table with my neighbor and I at our local pub. Because of the way she acted towards me I assumed she thought my neighbor and I were dating and she was jealous. I quickly made several references to my husband to allay any concerns she might have. After hearing that my husband is in the Army she spent 20 minutes or so discussing her brother who is in the Army as well and then unexpectedly said, “Hmm. That shirt looks different on you than I’d expect.” I replied by staring at her, mouth slightly agape while silently saying, “Fuck off, bitch” in my head. Once recovered, I said something that approximated a thank you, pretending that her statement was intended to be of a complimentary nature.
The evening continued in the same vein and when later my neighbor confessed that they had indeed once had a fling, I put it to bed.
Tonight I ran into her yet again. Same weird intenseness when she looked at me, same odd conversational tactics. This time she told me that she liked my lipgloss color and that she was surprised it didn’t look worse on me given my reddish hair color. This is the point when I wondered if she is really just that socially inept that her accidental insults are truly accidents or if she is just a bitch. If it’s the latter, I’m wondering how I can expose her to the others at the table so that I will be justified in telling her to bite me.
I’ve met people like her in the past and I never know quite how to take them. This may be in part, to my inability to not say exactly what I think at all times. Whatever I’m feeling shows on my face and whatever I’m thinking, pops right out of my mouth. I am the type of person who almost always let’s you know exactly where you stand, so it’s difficult for me to related to someone who both expresses herself poorly and seems to always say one thing, while making it clear she feels something else. I don’t like people like her. I believe in being direct with people. I don’t need her to like me, but I also prefer that she not pretend either. You may argue that she is just strange and did not mean any ill will, but when she asked if I thought my husband would be glad to see me when he got back from Iraq it was pretty hard to ascribe altruistic intentions to her words.
I know I’m not easy to get along with at all times. I have a big mouth, endless opinions and an uncanny way of supplanting small talk with awkward statements of political beliefs. That being the case, I still certainly hope that given the choice of a war zone or coming home to me, my husband would be happy to see me. How does one interpret any other emotion in such a question except one of malaise? Unfortunately as an adult and pacifist (actions only, desires don’t count), I do not have the luxury of punching in her in the head or telling her to blow me, it is expected that I behave with decorum and thus far, I think I have. One more comment about my hair though and that bitch is going down whether the others at the table understand or not.
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