Children are exhausting. I spent this evening playing with my 4 ½ year-old niece who seems to have no end to her energy, creativity, and truth be told, annoyance factor. She’s cute, she’s smarter than I remembered and she is very determined to get her own way. She wants to play, but you must play the game she’s picked out and you must play it by her rules. Is this how we all started out and has it shaped the way we’ve learned to interact with the world?
On some level we are all children, stubbornly wanting things to go our way without compromise, but life doesn’t work that way once you reach the point where it is no longer acceptable to pick your nose in public. I suppose I may not have completely lost this streak, it is due to my unwavering desire to live my life on my terms that I constantly find myself running into walls or getting into trouble. There are repercussions when you are an adult, however, that do not exist for the child.
I am trying to figure out if we are better or worse off for losing this part of ourselves. On one hand, I think it is pretty obvious that we could never co-exist as a society without compromise and understanding, but at the same time maybe we’d have a better shot at reaching for the brass ring and not settling if we allowed ourselves to believe that we deserved, truly deserved, to have that which we wanted. We take no for an answer too much and often about those things that would benefit us to fight for. Where a child may not know any boundaries, as adults it sometimes seems like all we see are walls, cordoning us off from larger possibilities and herding us into expected paths.
Maybe what we all need once in a while is an old fashioned temper tantrum. We deserve to have our way once in a while and we must learn to distinguish those things that are valid and worth a fight. Being an adult is not solely about accepting responsibility and following the predetermined path. Sometimes we need to rock the boat, both for society’s sake and our own. Though I will add a personal note of caution and tell you that the constant boat rocking will get you nothing but seasick.
I whole-heartedly agree that the gift in the innocence of childhood is that each baby is born selfish and deserving. Big noses, bald head, stinky shit and acne are not yet a factor in their self worth. They want what they need and will scream at everyone until they get it. They don't care what anyone thinks of them. They live completely in the moment.
ReplyDeleteThe beautiful part of watching my children develop is their increasing awareness of others. They begin to develop empathy, patience and even self-sacrifice. And this is wonderful.
But I dread the day that they put their own needs aside for the wrong reasons. Self-esteem, pride and confidence are not easy to maintain in this world, and I want my kids to keep that attitude of "I deserve because I AM" alive and well in their souls.