Day 135: Fear - The Best Motivator There is

Fear. We are all so afraid and yet I wonder, what are we really afraid of? JFK said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself” and yet we are a society bred on fear. Our religions teach us to fear God or at least to fear the consequences of our actions. Girls sometimes fear the disdain of their friends or loss of their boyfriends if they do not participate in certain behaviors. We take the safe road on vacations, choosing name brand hotels and restaurants rather than taking a chance on the unknown. We fear what our children or partners are not telling us, so we don’t ask or try not to hear what is said in their silence.

Fear can be crippling and yet we use it as a motivator or a threat to keep one another in line. How many times have you heard your parent or your partner threaten you with the “or else” option? Do this or else. Behave or else. Don’t do that or else. The manipulation of fear in this way has become so commonplace that we hardly recognize it for what it is. It’s a type of behavior modification and it is commonly used to encourage specific moral behaviors. Sex is a big deal, you have to be in love, only sluts do that – we teach young women not to be manipulated by over-excited boyfriends, but we are also guilty of manipulating them.

We monitor our own behavior because we are afraid of how we will look to others. The choices we make in life are not always the choices we truly want to pursue, but outside pressures can be oppressive and the consequences frightening. Maybe you really want the fried appetizer and dessert at dinner, but on a first date you don’t want to look like a pig. Maybe you’re gay, but it’s easier to just go to the prom like all the other kids and pretend to be one of them. Maybe you really truly do love the Harry Potter books and you’re a brilliant, Ivy League educated Army officer, but your wife berates you so you hide you love of teenage lit. Whatever your fear, it is most likely generated from those around you. We have nothing to fear, but the judgment and wrath of our peers and loved ones.