Day 110: I Was That Slut Your Mother Warned You About

As a society, we love promiscuous characters on television almost as much as we judge promiscuous people in real life. They have an inverse relationship and I’ve never quite understood why. Do people judge those that are more freely sexual because of their own fear or jealousy? It would be one thing if we did so and railed against such characters on our favorite shows too, but this is not the case. We loved the characters of Jack and Karen in “Will and Grace.” We snickered at the references to Elaine’s loose behavior on “Seinfeld.” We laughed along with the other “Friends” during Joey’s antics. Hell, even the “Golden Girls” had a geriatric hoochie running around in the guise of Blanche.

So I don’t get it? What is this love/hate battle with and need to label those we view as sexually promiscuous? It’s none of our business for one thing. I certainly don’t want you poking your noses into my bedroom fun with the husband and I really have no curiosity about those activities of my close friends, so why would I care about strangers? I do not label women or men as sluts or whores. I never have, but I also don’t think a sitcom character sleeping their way through a zip code is funny either. I see it more as reality and when there is a funny joke that involves sleeping around, I laugh because I understand it.

By the time I met my husband at the age of 32, I had several long-term relationships in my past, but also many more short-term relationships. Well, to call six hours with someone a relationship is probably a bit of a stretch. Yes, I have had my fair share of sexual escapades and I never dodge that truth. It is as much a part of me as my brown hair and sarcastic wit. Just because my life is different now, does not mean I am ashamed to acknowledge my past. Committing at 32 means there are a lot of years beforehand for which one must account. There were a lot of lonely days that had the potential to become lonely nights if I didn’t act, so I did.

I have friends who are in their 30’s and have only slept with two people their entire lives and I have friends who only sleep with two people at a time. They are who they are because of their life experiences and I do not judge their chosen path in sexuality. Judging and labeling are too easily done in our society. We label to make ourselves feel more comfortable. We like to be able to put people into neat little boxes, and those that never quit fit get saddled with a judgment. So why do we love Joey, laugh at Karen and Jack, cheer on Blanche, and become fascinated with Elaine? They’re all sluts too, but no one wants to alienate them.

So what if we’re sluts, or prudes, or perverts, or missionary? We are attracted to the sexy man or woman at the party, but once we fall in love, that same sex appeal that you were sure made them irresistible, is now a character flaw. The people do not change so much as our perspective in judging one another. Sometimes the prude is freak show in the bedroom, and the girl you thought was fast in school turned out to be a virgin. None of our labels or opinions actually change who we are as people, so what’s the point? Unless I’m stealing your husband, or for that matter, your wife, I suggest you keep your opinions to yourself and judge on personal interaction rather than suspected private behavior. I was that slut your Mother warned you about, but if I were a character on TV, Mom would be laughing right now.