Day 290-293 Weekend Edition: The Hangover, Ame Style

This weekend I did something a little differently with my blog, I decided to skip the daily and do a weekend edition. The idea came to me on Thursday night as I was well into what was sure to be a major hangover-making event. I knew then that I’d not be feeling up to writing and that the evening might lead to an interesting narrative. I should mention first off that I recently went vegan and I have not been drinking more than a glass of wine for several weeks. That evening I enjoyed a side salad, and two vegetable sides. Then I proceeded to drink three glasses of wine, a single malt scotch, two beers and two “girl” shots. Oh yes, it was one of those kinds of nights.

Our friend Mark is one of the husband’s best friends from his college days and someone I love to death. We all three get along and the opportunity to spend a rare evening together since we live in different states spurred me to drive to Fayetteville, NC to hang with two of my favorite men. The plan was dinner at the nicest restaurant in town, which admittedly means it wasn’t a chain, but it actually was quite nice. I intended, as the DD, to have one glass of wine. As we sat and talked over dinner that turned into three in two hours. We moved to the bar area where another friend joined us and I thought it wise to have a scotch. And here is where it took a turn for the crazy. When you get to that point in your inebriation that you no longer need a drink to feel drunk, that is when you will begin to drink without discretion.

Another 90 minutes passed and we decided to hit a real bar. At this point I still have most of my memory and I distinctly recall that it was I who suggested a strip club. The plan was agreed to and the next thing I know, we were driving down strip club lane and in a military town let me assure you there is always at least one road filled with them. We turned into the third one and here is where it gets a little wrong and illegal, because it is at this point that I realize I am driving. I remember them all yelling directions at how to park, but not so much the drive itself. I am a firm believer in NOT driving while drunk so I don’t really know what happened, except that I was stupid and drunk and just getting started.

Once inside we grabbed beers, shots and a private room complete with leather sofas and private illegal video poker machines. None of this was necessary of course, but four drunk people at a strip club are guaranteed only to do the exact opposite of what they should. Two lap dances later, I flashed the table, a college experience I’d never indulged in until now, my 37^th year. No one remembers this except the husband and he is, um, less than thrilled. I also clearly remember that during my second lap dance, my girl started talking about her two kids. Why do strippers do that? I’m not tipping you more out of pity! Stop ruining the fantasy! After that I gave her to the husband and did another girl shot, because alcohol was clearly needed.

We hit the ATM two or three times to take out decent amounts of cash, yet woke up the next day with $15 in our pocket, so it must have been fun. I do know that I did not drive back to out friend’s hotel, I did not call the cab that took us home and I did not get out of bed again for nearly 36 hours. We lost our car, because neither the husband nor I were sober enough to catch the name of the hotel we parked it at. We intended to be in Fayetteville overnight, we ended up being there for two days. We experienced a two-day hangover. Got in a fight and then a great conversation that caused the husband to literally sit up with enlightenment before immediately forgetting what the hell we were talking about. Spent the equivalent of a car payment on a rental car that was due back Friday, but because we didn’t make it back until late Saturday when they were already closed for the weekend we got stuck with four times the original bill.

Altogether I think our “dinner” with a friend cost us nearly $850 and two days of headaches and nausea. We don’t remember most of the night except that it was really, really fun and honestly that makes it all worthwhile. Even so, I think I’m going to add drinking to the list of things I’m going to say no to in copious amounts.