“You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.” Says a sign on the wall of my second cousin’s elementary school classroom. My Aunt saw this while visiting her granddaughter and ever since, I have been obsessed with it. What a great motto to hang on a wall. In fact, I believe this should be hanging on the walls of every school, office and kitchen.
I would not always have been so supportive of this statement. I am discerning type of person, which is just a fancy way of saying I’m picky. It’s never really been my style to just accept whatever I get and so this funny little saying should not be something I like. Recently, however, my lifestyle has changed and now I find it easier to accept things as they come and to even be grateful for what I get.
Part of the new me happened because of changes to my diet. About two months ago I went vegan, and as difficult as that makes eating out, I’m not one to give up that pleasure. So instead, I still go to all the same places I normally would have gone, but now I really don’t have options. I order the one thing on the menu that is vegan or else I order a bunch of sides that fit the bill and make them into a meal. It’s not always the most satisfying or the meal I want, but it keeps with my lifestyle choices and it really cuts down on the time it takes me to order. The best part, however, is that I never regret what I have or wish I’d ordered what my dining companions are eating. The fact is, I can’t have those things so I don’t spend mealtime annoyed that I didn’t get something different.
I get what I get and I don’t throw a fit. Though this just started as a dinner ritual for me, I notice that it is expanding into other areas of my life. I am genuinely grateful for things that before I might not have noticed or even actively disliked. Life is easier without all the choices and sense of entitlement most of us drag around through life. I don’t think I ever really understood how much time I invested in wondering if I made the right choice or vacillating between options, let alone the potential for regrets. These days, life is easier and even breezier. I get what I get and I’m not even tempted to throw a fit.
Ok - this is what we tell our kids too. I'm gonna go in a little bit of a different angle on it. Maybe try to see if you can understand where I come from on some things and this may help. WE'll see---
ReplyDeleteThis is just one example that happened in the last few weeks. We had a single mom move into one our our apartments. She only had to pay half the deposit cause she was gonna paint the apartment. Two months later that was not done and she wasn't able to pay rent because she lost her gove't $$$. I don't even know what it was because I have become a bit numb to the excuses we encounter. I told her we'd let her pay for some of the rent by doing some painting and cleaning for a few of the other apartments we had vacant. She said sure--- I gave her Sean's # and she never called him. So I get a call a few weeks later that she is not going to be able to pay the rent but is in contact with a church and trying to find other government support. I told her once again that if she got them to pay some and started doing some painting etc for us that we would work with her and not evict her. A few days later (this after she is 2 months late on rent) she calls and leaves me a message that she is moving back to Elkhart because she can't make it here on her own. She had a sister who lives just a few blocks away from our apartment. She has "moved on" and left us with a trashed apartment and are out 2 months rent with a broken lease. Promises, promises!! I am sick and tired of lazy people !!
So you get what you get-- and also shouldn't expect shit if you won't do it on your own.
She had opportunity to pay her rent by doing work for us. How hard is that? Why lie and say you will do something when you have no intention on doing it? Why?!? Because she was just trying to buy some time... We have learned the hard way that 99% of the time we give our tenants a break they screw us.
This is just one story and I have dozens and dozens more. So you may see why I have such a hate for governemt programs. Most of the people we encounter that use these systems are not to-- should I say- motivated to do anything on their own.
We could send her to collections but that would be just another waste of our time. She is moving and they don't seem to go too far to find them. She will go and file for whatever gov't $$ she can get and when she can't get that anymore will screw whoever is in her way and move on to the next victim.
So the saying is true- You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. And if you do want more than life is giving you it is up to you to do it not someone else.
We tell our kids- we all have choices , make decisions from those choices and live with the consequences of our choices-- whether good or bad.
I think entitlement is not what we should expect but the ability to work hard for a better life is really what the American dream is all about. It all goes back to personal accountability for OUR own actions. When we are blessed we give back to others that need a boost but they should not expect to live off of others who work for a living.
And BTW- this tenant that couldn't pay any of her rent for 2 months spends a lot of her time on FB. Somehow she can afford it and has the time to FB all day. Sense a bit of anger-- you got it!!