Facebook is a bit like six degrees of Kevin Bacon. You have your core friends, your KB’s, and then the rippling out of friends that are contacts made from the core group. We can only theorize where this great social media experiment is going to end up. Remember Friendster? My Space? Either do I. At some point it is likely that FB will go the way of its predecessors and when it does, what happens to all those “friendships”? For that matter, do we even want to keep all of them? What, for instance, happens when you stop being friends with Kevin himself? Can you still keep the other degrees?
Since joining the great Facebook experiment I have reconnected with many old friends or acquaintances. I don’t particularly like them all, I don’t even remember them all, but I’m trying to keep from burning bridges and you never know when a contact will prove fruitful. This is what I tell myself when I peruse my almost 200 “friends.” Then there is the part of me that wants to cut about a third of them loose. We aren’t actually friends, we don’t live near one another, we never talk on FB, and we could not be more different. All those ripples in the Kevin Bacon pond are rippling out toward what?
My friend list also includes recently made contacts via personal friends. I generally like these contacts and will surf those ripples to see where they take me. It has created friendships and work relationships that I find valuable. Then again, it has created some awkwardness. When a friend and I parted ways I was left with a number of friends made solely via our friendship. What is the protocol? Do you keep those friends, try to develop your own relationship or cut them loose because it’s awkward?
I think I’m mostly just taking the wait and see approach. The people that are so different from me that they are offended probably do not enjoy seeing what I have to say. Aside from a couple of people I actively sought to unfriend, I mostly just assume that my natural tendency to piss off and offend people will finally cause the less connected ripples/degrees to unfriend me first. I’m passive aggressive.
I have no resolution on this topic, hell, I barely have a point. All I know is all this obsessive sharing with near strangers is going to continue to evolve and I’m starting to fear it. About once a week I get a friend request from someone I don’t even know, but at this point I figure, what the hell and accept them anyway. Maybe one of them will be an editor and want to publish some of my stuff. Who knows, it’s a big world and even if I’m no longer friends with Kevin, I can still try to make the most of the friendships I’ve gained along the way.
Interesting topic Ame- I just think there are different types of "memberships" to FB. There are the ones like us who share most everything, the ones that share a few, the ones that share little and the ones that share nothing. I think it depends on the personalities. Sean very rarely gets on his FB account. Usually to beat me in some game like farkle or bejeweled. LOL He once posted a status " I am breathing in.... no I am breathing out" He laughs at all of us who tell our livfes story on FB. But that's not his personality. He says what he has to and that's it. A man of few words but he does better at stating facts without emotion than do I.
ReplyDeleteTo the topic about friends on FB. I have not friended anyone I can't remember and I don't think that is rude but maybe I should. I was just thinking it through this way. What if I see them out? I'm sure I wouldn't recognize them. That just seems very awkward. I have about 4 people in my freiend requests that I haven't ignored yet and not sure to friend them or not. If I keep them in there long enough maybe something will click and I'll remember them. Come to think about it, I have friended a few people I couldn't remember but because so many of my olod friends could I figured I knew them. I don't have the best memory :)
I thought about FB ending - that thing about them charging was going around. I was like I won't be on here if they charge and I figure lots of others wouldn't too. I think that was just a rumor though.
You will notice that most people do not post about hot topics like we do. I have always been a people pleaser and therefore not shared things that you might disagree with for fear of not being liked. As I get older though I realize it's not always about everyone "liking" you. I am not ashamed to tell what I believe and if you think I'm an idiot or weird for that well it's ok. Sean has tough skin. If someone makes no sense and/or is verbally attacking him he doesn't even give them the time of day. Me on the other hand. Well I am learning how to do that. Well, this FB thing has been taking me away from getting my work done so I better go back to my real life- The physical one and get my crap together;) I do love your blog and think you should be a writer and actually get paid for it! Sorry, I'm not a publisher:(