I’m ready to move. By “move” I mean it in pretty much every sense of the word. I want to move geographically, I want to move on professionally, I want to move on emotionally, I just want change. I’ve never much been one of those people who like to settle down. I enjoy new places, new people, new opportunities . . . you name it, I appreciate the change. I used to think this was due to some sort of unhappiness, but now that I’m working through a lot of my emotional baggage, I really see it in a different light. What’s so wrong with liking change?
As a society, we value stability. Stable relationships, careers that last 40 years, the family home, and any other long-term arrangement; as Americans, tradition rules. So what happens when you’re not a traditional person? I never wanted to stay in one place, I don’t want kids, the idea of a picket fence makes me nauseous. I like unpredictability. I have cats for that very reason. Dog people and cat people are a good analogy for the traditional vs. the nontraditional. Dog people are homesteaders. They like big houses and yards and the predictability of a dog. You know what you’re going to get; you know the dog will be happy to see you when you come home; and you know Fido is always going to come when you call him. Cats aren’t like that. You never know what they are going to do or if they’ll be happy to see you or annoyed that you are taking up space in their house. I love that.
I find that I get antsy for change. I want to repaint, redecorate and revamp my space and my life. It’s not that I’m unhappy, in fact, it’s just the opposite. I’m happy for the most part and liking myself, I just want to like myself and be happy somewhere new. I used to feel guilty about this urge to run. My itchy feet never wanted to stay put for long, so I hitched my wagon to an Army guy which gives me a built-in excuse for moving a lot. That doesn’t explain my need to change other parts of my life though, does it? Jeff is my one stable thing and that’s all I really need. I like new career challenges and always got bored after two years if there wasn’t growth. Even as a child I got bored easily and if not challenged I’d get into trouble.
As an adult, the type of trouble I get into is different. I run my mouth a lot, which causes the most problems, but I’m trying to strike a balance. I think happy, healthy adults do not need to look like our parents generation. What’s wrong with movement and change? The one thing I’ve always been more afraid than anything else in life, is being ordinary. I do not want an ordinary life or normal relationships. I like extremes, they suit me. I don’t just want to move, I want to move every two years. I don’t just want close friends, I want friends who will fight for me. I want the house to be green one month and grey the next. Change can be good and healthy. I’m not going to try to fit inside some mold society claims is necessary to demonstrate that we are well-adjusted people. Besides, who the fuck wants to be well adjusted when you can be happy instead?
I our house we call that ADHD. Four of the 5 oof us have it. I Sean had it his way we would move every 2 years. With 3 kids I said enough!! That's why the FD is so good for him. It is always something different. Sean has done every project you could think of to our house. Not all of them are done of course:) He just went our and got a guitar cause he thinks he needs to learn how to play. He's owned it for 5 days and is doing pretty good. Change is good for some and bad for some.
ReplyDeleteLiked the dog - cat analogy. The cool thing about us is that we all have different personalities and once we start accepting each other for who we are we will be much happier.