Sometimes medical professionals are idiots and they get in the way of maintaining the good health they are supposed to advocate. Now that I’m over 35, I worry more and more about things like breast cancer or prostate cancer for the husband, not to mention the countless other diseases that can spring up on us as we age. A few years back I finally managed to force myself to do self breast exams. I know I should have been doing them all along, but it’s lumpy in there and it weirds me out. It was so much better when I’d just make Jeff do them for me, but at some point he told me it kind of made him lose the thrill when we made sexy time so I took that chore back.
They say to do this once a month and quite honestly, being the all or nothing kind of girl I am, that doesn’t work for me. I’m sure if you told most people they only had to do something once a month they’d manage to remember, but not me. Nope, too easy to put it off. So I started doing them every morning and I religiously spent a couple of minutes a day getting to know each and every lump in there so that should anything new pop up, I would recognize it.
About six months into this process I had my annual exam and the doctor asked if I were doing self-exams. Yes, I said rather proudly, I do them every morning. The doc told me not I didn’t need to do them so often, just once a month. I responded that this way was better for me and was helping me to get to know the terrain, so to speak, but she practically ordered me to stop. It was so strange. She was quite vehement that I should only do them once each month and acted like what I was doing was actually harmful rather than positive. No matter how I tried to convince her this was better, both for me and for the ability to discern what’s a normal bump, and what’s an actual lump, the doc just wouldn’t give in.
I never did figure out what the hell it was to her, but it was enough to just turn me off from doing them at all. I know it’s stupid and every month I try to remember, but I never do. I realize this only hurts me, I mean it’s my bosom and my potential for cancer, but still, I just cannot get back that discipline and enthusiasm. So why would a physician criticize about actively being involved in our own health. Are we not always for the better when we take responsibility for our own bodies and health? Who the hell was she to tell me not to do something that could only help? It is so frustrating when doctors refuse to progress and adapt and instead stick to whatever training they were taught. If it doesn’t hurt, then shut the hell up. As patients we look to our medical professionals for guidance and when one of them disregards something it could be the thing that discourages us from being as proactive as we need to be.
I totally agree with your premise. Doctors aren't the only "professionals" guilty of this kind of elitism. I think the main problem is communication. Like you say, "If it doesn’t hurt, then shut the hell up."
ReplyDeleteI'm only guessing here, but i think her problem with the daily exam may be that if you examine yourself daily, you are more likely to miss a gradual change. A lump doesn't pop up overnight to a size worth noticing so a monthly exam allows any real change to progress far enough to be noticeable. She should have been able to communicate that to you, or what ever her reason is, in a way that acknowledged you as the first line of defense of your health.
You may consider using that God given lunar calendar to remind yourself to examine, and ask the doctor if before, during, or after is the best time to do the exam because of the hormonal changes that cause differences in the way "the girls" feel.
You may think i'm speaking out of turn here regarding feminine health, but you only have experience with one female body, not counting the trip when you lost the car, while i... well, a gentleman doesn't discuss those things. i'm just making my point. : )