Isn’t it amazing how something we believe we have a strong handle on can suddenly become the most difficult thing to articulate. Tonight I took my first stab at writing my statement of purpose for grad school. It turns out that I am an idiot incapable of coherent thoughts regarding my career goals and degree objectives. I thought the GRE was the hard part, but now I’m not so sure. The concept is fairly simple, they want an essay that lays out a career objective and how your desired degree program fits with said objective. So far, I’ve got something like “I really want a job that will pay me and will let me do good.” It’s not exactly poetry.
One of the obstacles are the mixed messages these programs send. They don’t want you to use clichés, but there are also only a few reasons to actually go into an MPA program. I want to help people. I want to make a difference. I want to contribute to the world. This is the reality of the program and what they want to hear, but you have to figure out a way to spin it so it sounds completely different, but sends the same message.
I consider myself to be an above average writer and I’ve never had difficulty articulating myself, but when you know that your entire future depends largely on a two-page essay the pressure really starts to screw with you. My grades aren’t awful from my undergrad, my recommendation letters are glowing, and my GRE scores are quite a bit above their desired score mark, so it all comes down to this. Sadly, now that it’s the bottom of the ninth with two outs I’m a bloody idiot. I did not see this obstacle coming.
I suppose there is a big difference between knowing something and making it known and that is where I am at the moment. How do I convey to this nameless, faceless group who I really am and what I want out of life, career and academia? It is occasions like this that we are truly forced to evaluate our lives and goals, both as they now are and how we see them in the future. Sometimes we don’t like what we see and sometimes the picture is murky. Right now, I’m not sure where I want this path to take me. I can see the fuzzy outline of a better way, but it’s not clearly defined. How can I convince others of what I want if I’m not even sure myself and for that matter, are any of us ever one hundred percent about anything. Maybe in the end we just pick a path, cross our fingers and dive in. Now if you could kindly direct me to the high board . . .
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