Day 341: An Apology to Moms, From the Bigmouth Who Put You Down

I’ve been rereading a lot of my old blogs and one of the recurrent themes that stuck out for me was the issue of motherhood. This is especially timely, given that today is Mother’s Day. It should be no secret to anyone who has read the blogs from the last couple of weeks that I’ve been a bit down and in somewhat of a snit. I get the blues, that’s not a shock, but it’s more than that. It’s Mother’s Day and this happens to be my least favorite holiday of the year.

It’s not that I need a special day to remember – or rather, miss – my Mother, it’s that this day is so pervasive that one cannot escape it’s grasp. All week, everywhere I went there were signs on doors announcing the revised business hours for Mother’s Day. Cards and specials on flowers stared me down at the grocery or Target. TV episodes aired special Mother’s Day tributes. Facebook took the holiday to a new level of viral as everyone sent a shout out to their Moms. I just wanted a place without a Mother, tribute to Mothers or gift ideas for Mothers. Unfortunately, this was not possible and no matter how I tried to hide, I still had to plan and send a gift to my Mother-in-law and make the “Happy Mother’s Day” phone call.

So it’s been a shitty run up to this day and it weighed on me in ways I didn’t see until I forced myself. Lot’s of people have lost loved ones and they manage to be normal or even pleasant, but I am cranky and moody and even judgmental and it’s unfair. This is my apology to all those Moms out there that I insulted with comments about “breeders” and “pedestrian lives” and normalcy. While the traditional family route is not a path I want to take, there is no excuse for me taking out my own grief at losing my Mother on those people who do this incredibly difficult and often thankless job.

Most of you are Moms and I have looked at your photos on Facebook and read your updates about your kids. I love seeing who you’ve become and getting to know those little people that you are raising. Regardless of how I feel about having or raising children of my own, I do support Mothers and I know that it is never an easy job. So if nothing else, I hope you all accept my apology if I ever made it seem like what you do does not matter or is not valuable. I can’t name you all, but to my aunts and cousins who I know to be exceptional Mothers, I’m sorry. To Jenni, Colleen, Shauna, Jenn, Kris, Michelle, Wendy, Jennifer, Shelly, Jena and all the rest of you: thank you for all that you do.

The world does not need more people in general, it needs more caring, intelligent, and nurturing people and you are all doing your part to raise them. I have a big mouth and my emotional outbursts that are better left to a personal journal often get channeled into my public blog. None of you deserve to feel like what you are doing is not vital because I’m having a bad day. I see you. I see all of you and I know that you ARE making a difference every single day that you manage to look into the faces of your complaining, ungrateful children and not get in the car and drive to Mexico. Thanks for having the patience and the love to be Moms, because the world needs you and so do I.