Day 61: Dear Penthouse Letters . . .

Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about doing it on TV . . . Okay, I probably should have prefaced that first line to let you know it should be read with the melody of that old Salt N’ Pepa song. If you didn’t get the connection then we’ll just move it along. Today I’m talking about one of my favorite things, sex certainly, but more specifically, porn! I love porn. I love literary porn, online porn, movie porn, magazine porn, I love it all and I don’t feel guilty about it. Or maybe I do, since I might describe my aficion for porn as a “guilty pleasure.”

I do not have a conflict with morality and pornography. I think sexuality is part of human nature and there isn’t a religion in the world that preaches celibacy to its devotees. Sex is healthy and necessary to leading healthy and balanced lives. True, pornography is not integral to sex, but it doesn’t necessarily make it wrong either. If all parties involved are consenting adults and no one is being forced or coerced into actions against their will, I’m all good. At this point, I already know the argument you’re going to lob at me. Women are being persecuted by the very nature of pornography, exotic dancing, prostitution, etc. So here’s my answer: bite me.

No one is forcing the women or men in porn to be in porn. True, many of the stars of adult films may not have many options on the job front, but how is that different than millions of other people trying to break into other jobs? The military recruiter prays on those without many other options, luring teenagers with promises of decent pay, benefits and possible tuition assistance for the low, low price of possibly your life. I don’t know about you, but if I have to choose between banging a hot guy on camera or getting my head blown off for college money, my nobility is taking a back seat to a hard day of laying on my back.

True, I’m not a religious person, but I don’t think liking porn makes me a bad person either. Those . . . let’s just call them performers, are making decent money and when you consider that most of us have been doing the same thing for free in our personal lives, they don’t really seem all that stupid or downtrodden to me. It is entertainment and while I do agree that the women tend to get the short end of the stick (or not) in terms of job description this really is not all that different than any other profession. Women still make less than men in the work place for the same job. Women still have to work harder and go above and beyond to prove themselves. Women still make up more of the lower ranking jobs than leadership roles. It’s not like we’ve got it so great everywhere else except the porn industry.

In fact, in porn the women are the stars. Most people know the names Traci Lords, and Jenna Jameson even if they’ve never seen a porn movie. Let’s not also forget “The Girls Next Door.” Just because it’s playboy doesn’t mean it’s not pornography. So while the women are famous or even legendary within the industry itself, the guys are somewhat underrated. If anything, this is an industry that finally pays tribute to the merits of women over that of men. The women make good money, get fame, are the dominant feature and probably are not expected to get anyone coffee. Should women have to rely on sex or their bodies to finally be celebrated? Of course not, but there are a lot of high paying jobs out there that are not our first choice. No one grows up wanting to be in waste management, despite the big salary.

Porn, like any other job, is about your perception and your outlook. If you feel demeaned because you’re an Assistant instead of a CEO that’s mostly about your insecurity. Nurses feel the same thing all the time in dealing with untrusting patients and dismissive doctors. The job isn’t bad just because some people think it is not as valuable as another. Hell, if I were single and not convinced that my Brother, Dad, or Grams or would find out, I’d be first in line to do an amateur flick with Derrick Pierce. There is one benefit to porn that no one talks about. When you’re single and dating, you cannot predict how great the big moment will be, but when you’re with a pro, chances are pretty good that everyone is going to go home happy or at least sated.

I have pissed off a lot of my feminist and religious friends with my porn adoration, but I’m willing to live with that. It’s sex. Lighten up, it’s supposed to be fun and entertaining. After five, ten, twenty or more years with the same person everyone could use a little outside stimulus to put the bang back in the cannon. Porn is like a sexual aperitif if used properly or for those of us practicing forced celibacy while our loved ones are away for impossibly long and cruel periods of time, it can be a lifeline we desperately cling to in order to maintain sanity, exercise frustration, and level out hormonal urges . . . or so I hear.

The best invention of the 20^th century was by far internet porn. Renting in that skanky section of the Indian-run movie mart felt smarmy, though it did foster my other love, Bollywood pics. For the most part, however, I like to get dirty in the comfort of my own computer chair. So pray for my soul if you must, but if God created man and give him free will and man created porn, then didn’t God just produce a shitload of adult material? Hmmm . . . maybe there is something to this God business.