Day 260: Do You Know This Girl?

Do you recognize me? Do I look like someone you know? Should I know you? I ask myself these questions a lot, but I’ve never been able to answer them. As a child of adoption, the woman I am today is still missing a part of herself. I love my family, I would never choose to change the past and to not be adopted, but it’s time to rectify the injustice that such secrecy has inflicted upon me. I’m not asking for my birth family to love me, but I do have a right to know where I came from and I think I’m finally ready to begin that search in earnest.

It’s an interesting question: where do we come from? I’ve written before on nature vs. nurture so I won’t go into that again, but I do wonder how much of my life or any of our lives would change simply by discovering a family member we didn’t know about. So much of my life and my emotional baggage is connected to my adoption, but as an adult it is no longer about fantasies of new families and siblings to play with or money for college. I am all grown up and I have wonderful parents and a great brother. At this point, it’s more a healthy curiosity and really a desire more to know about any potential siblings than the parents themselves.

We take our brothers and sisters for granted because we can and that is a wonderful luxury to have. I certainly do it with my brother Tommy who is not blood related, but is my family in every other way. I may never have the opportunity to bond with my biological parents, but I long for a sister or more brothers to joke with, compare stories with and to be friends. I believe that siblings have a connection and I’ve seen that in action with my own brother, despite all our differences. We all put ourselves out there to some extent on a daily basis. I feel like I am auditioning to be part of a family and what really sucks is that this should have been my birth right. I don’t need them, but I want them in my life and I hope they are out there to be found.

This is where all of you come in. I need to network the web and my friends. If you or your Mom knows anyone who gave up a baby girl through Catholic Social Services (now Catholic Charities) born in December 1972, or a boy born in August 1970 (I always look for my brother’s family too) let me know. If you have any resources in the Catholic Charities that might be willing to help, please pass my information along or contact me with theirs. A reunion search is a long and sometimes expensive endeavor. I have been looking half-heartedly for years, but now it’s game on. Someone out there knows me and it’s time I know them too.