Day 262: How Can I Go to Grad School When I Can't Even Graduate Life?

I like to think of myself as a student of life. I believe that the personal experiences we have are as important, and likely more so, than our formal educations and professional resumes. Travel, relationships, surprising conversations with strangers, leisurely fall afternoons in the park – these are my classrooms, the places I learn things about life I couldn’t get anywhere else. No one pays me for these experiences, however, the rent is due and a touching story about a day in Venice won’t cut it. So what will? If you are not one of the lucky ones who found a way to make what you love your career, is it possible to build a professionally successful life without compromising yourself?

My return to school as a graduate student is imminent. I am lazy about studying for the GRE (when did math get so hard) and I’ve yet to contact any of my references for their letters of recommendation, but I am fully committed to attending. The question I now face, is if I can build on my life experiences and my passions to build a viable career. Grad school is a mixed bag. On one hand, an advanced degree will look great on a resume, but on the other I feel like I am forced to choose a degree program that isn’t one hundred percent what I want. At some point, we have to grow up and realize that just because we love something does not mean it will get us what we need to live. Hopes, dreams, and passions do not pay the bills and there is no yellow brick road to show us where to go.

At an information session for prospective students, I was heartened to learn that most of them were not as far into the process as I am. At least I’ve begin preparing, starting writing letters, and know all the deadlines. This was a room full of people who like me, were at a crossroads as to where to go next. For some, career and educational progression is more obvious, but to others, changing career directions or wanting and needing to go back to school, but not really knowing for what can be daunting. I met people that fit all these categories today and it was nice to see that along with the determined and driven there were some other floundering professionals.

I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know that I want to continue traveling, and meeting interesting people, loving those close to me and experiencing all the world has to offer. I also need a career or at least a really big lottery payout. I am going to grad school with a fuzzy picture of what that means and where it will position me. I haven’t even written my statement of purpose yet, because honestly, I don’t have one. What I do have, is the knowledge that even though I’m floundering, I’m smart and I’m keeping my head above water. So I’ll keep treading until I find the place I want and need to land.