Tiger Woods is a sex addict or so the story goes. Tiger has completely shredded his personal life with bad choices and worse judgment (dude you’re famous, of course they’re going to rat you out for the cash and their 15 minutes). Still, this is a man’s personal life and I don’t want to know the details or hear his apology. The only people that should hear his heartfelt apologies are those involved and close to him. As a people, for some reason we feel we have a right to be involved in this family’s personal drama and now we’ve got the world’s number one golfer claiming he’s a sex addict and needs help. Yeah, I’ll bet.
I’m not completely against the realities of addiction and the possible hereditary link, but I do believe that we all have certain addictive tendencies that are innately part of us. Some of us are food addicts, control freaks, substance abusers, sex addicts, clean freaks, Jesus freaks, adrenaline junkies . . . you name a behavior and I bet there is someone out there compulsively doing it. I believe that addiction is born of a love of something and a character weakness. You love the way it feels when you bury the pain with pills or alcohol and it makes you want to do it over and over again. I like that feeling too, but I can’t be drunk all the time because I get wicked hangovers and I’m not crafty enough to score pills or other drugs regularly. I choose not to let those behaviors rule me, but I have other weaknesses.
I have a feeling Tiger was standing up there apologizing sincerely for hurting his family, business partners, friends and for embarrassing himself and those in the golfing world. I also think he was probably thinking to himself: “I can’t believe I have to say I’m frigging addict. So I scored some hot chicks because I got a little cocky and lonely on the road and there are always screaming babies at home. I’m a douche, but fuck, I’m not a sex addict, I’m just horny and have no judgment in the heat of the moment.” Sex addicts typically do not carry on three year affairs and tell people they love them. Tiger just sounds like a guy who got caught up in his own hype and he was coated in Teflon for a while.
My intention is not to belittle addiction, I know people that have and are suffering from addictions, but I still believe that when you give someone a lifeline that says the way out is to admit you’re powerless you’re creating your own monster. You are not powerless. You are weak, yes, just like I get an image of mashed potatoes in my head and cannot settle until I gorge myself then regret it instantly. The craving and drive is irresistible and that’s just for damn potatoes! We have cravings for different things and different levels of willpower to guide us. At some point, these things are a choice. You give in to the addiction, it doesn’t rule you and Tiger’s not a damn sex addict, he’s just a dick.
One final word, I know a little something about sexual addiction. I understand what motivates a person to use sex for closeness, comfort, anger, happiness, and every other conceivable emotion. Sex feels good and bad and sometimes it feels like both at the same time. We all use sex in our life. Procreation or intimacy with the one we love, to prove something to ourselves or others, for money for those lost and in need, or to signify our love and devotion. Sex is a tool even in the most loving and committed relationships and we all use it. Is it compulsive? Sure, it can be, but that is a choice just like taking another drag on that cigarette you swore not to smoke or eating another doughnut or throwing up a doughnut.
We all struggle with our demons, but God or a step program or detox or a public apology will not cure us, it’s a choice. Like the fat woman who loses 300 pounds, no one puts her in detox she just digs down deep, sucks up her emotional baggage and starts making new choices. If Tiger wants to apologize he shouldn’t blame it on addiction, he should blame it on his being a douchebag. Then again, I think he should have said fuck your apology and dealt with his wife personally.
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